So I Took a Break, Who Cares?

I've been on an emotional roller coaster the past month. Thankfully, it flew by pretty quickly and I can get my head out of the sand beginning with the new month of September.

Apart from the post-pageant blues, I've been dealing with other personal, no-big-deal issues. After the pageant I experienced a strange feeling of loss. I worked for months toward that competition, and I had all of my focus in one area. Naturally, I felt unsure of my future once I checked that goal off my list. This led to the awful (yet much needed) break in my workout routine. Forget waking up at 8:00am for those vigorous and challenging workouts - I wanted to sleep in! However, I learned that taking a vacation from your workout routine is a big NO-NO! Instead, give yourself one or two extra days off. Don't totally skip the gym because you'll spiral into the bad habit of being lazy and not eating well. (Trust me; after two weeks of eating whatever I crave...it is NOT worth it!)

I've also succumbed to the fact that maybe the best thing for me is to have those six-month goals. On top of being focused, and putting my energy into something positive, the feeling of accomplishment at the end is an amazing reward.

I enjoyed the last two weeks of summer to the best of my ability. I surrounded myself with friends, laughter, and love every day of the week. Now, here I am with the strong realization that summer fun eventually goes away, and it's always time to get back to business. My dilemma...what does 'get back to business' mean for me? Yes, I have a great job, no it is not a career. Sure I have an apartment, but is it really a home? And of course, I have my city, but is this really my end-all?

After a very long time of serious contemplation and consideration, I've decided that perhaps now is the time to do something different. Something for myself, and my own happiness. So while I was doing some serious reflection my mind wandered back to France. The feeling of sincere independence, accompanied with a three-hour conversation over coffee at the local cafe. I concluded that I would attempt to achieve those luxuries in a different city. Of course I'd like to settle down and start a family but that didn't go so well last time I tried, so maybe it's time to change it up a bit.

Either way, this blog isn't to inform you of my newly rekindled fascination with France, and perhaps the upcoming move I'll make to a different city. The purpose of this piece is to remind you that it’s OK to give yourself a break every now-and-then. It's OK to feel uncertain of where you're heading and it's OK to feel like you haven't been yourself lately. A lot of people have seen me more than once in the last few weeks, and have made me feel guilty about it by asking the wrong questions, and implying the wrong things.

I'll list some example questions for you:

Statement: "Did you go to the gym today"

Answer: Um, no. I didn't....and I feel amazing about that choice I've made as a grown adult.

Statement: "Eating Mexican right now isn't part of you nutrition plan"

Answer: "I'm about to spend the money I've earned on this burrito. I didn't ask for your opinion."

Question: "Wow, I've been seeing you a lot recently- where's your boyfriend?"

Answer: "Last time I checked my personal relationships are none of your business. If you were my friend, you wouldn't have to ask that question."

Statement: "It's getting late shouldn't you be in bed?"

Answer: "I sincerely appreciate your concern for my well being, but if I want to stay up until 11:00pm on a Thursday I'm allowed. If you have an issue with it you can call my parents and complain."

Don't allow other people to make you feel guilty about letting your hair down. The most important thing is to always be SAFE! You can have fun, and make smart decisions at the same exact time. Know deep in your heart that if you're ever lost, you're the only person you can trust to find yourself again. Someone once told me that life always needs to reach equilibrium, so with every good there is bad and with every bad there is good. I keep my head held high knowing that for every crappy month I have, a good one is surely on its way. Trust yourself, and your ability to succeed and everything will work out with time!

In the mean time, I'll be working toward a new nutrition and workout plan, while day-dreaming of moving onto better things!!